Episode #119: What If You Realised How Great Your Work Really Was (& Stopped Trying To Prove Yourself)?

Ruth Poundwhite  0:00  

In this episode, I’m sharing something that could lead to not just a huge perspective, shift around what you do, but also a tangible change in the way you show up to talk about it. You’re listening to quietly ambitious with conversations about how it really feels to build a business that honours your whole self unapologetically. And that includes who you are, how you feel, what you really desire, the impact that you want to create, and importantly, the money you want to make. I’m your host, Ruth Poundwhite. And my superpower is supporting sensitive and ambitious humans to make more money by fully expressing and owning all of who they are. Let’s dive in. Hi, and welcome back to another episode of The quietly ambitious podcast. So for this solo episode, I’m really recording it off the cuff. There’s so much I want to talk about, but what I want to talk about today is something that really just came through to me loud and clear. I’ve just done a breathwork session this morning. Actually, the person I did it with, we’re gonna have Kathy bell on the podcast in a few weeks. So listen out for that. But yeah, came through to me loud and clear. What if your work was the greatest gift to your right people? And this is a question that is inspired, in part, obviously, by the breathwork, and also my own mentor Susie Ashworth. So I just want to give her credit, because it’s something that she has been asking me inviting me to play with for a long time. And I just want to share my own thoughts about it with you in this podcast episode, especially knowing that a lot of you listening will relate to the feeling of wanting to do our very best by other people, often wanting to do our very best by other people at the expense of what is best for us or not even potentially knowing what is best for us. And I think that is the first thing I really want to say why it’s so hard for us to lean in to trusting that our work, our business, our offers, are the greatest gift for our right people. Is because we are so we hold ourselves to such high standards, right? And what if we dropped the ball? What if we dropped the ball on those standards? What if just deciding that our work is a gift means we don’t push ourselves enough to be as good as we can to be as great as we can? Or something that else that also came up for me when I was thinking about this was this idea of like, how did we learn to prove our worth in the past? If you’re anything like me, then you may think that you can’t just decide that your work is a gift, you have to go out there and prove it. And when I say prove it, I don’t just mean do it. I don’t just mean get the clients do the work. I mean,

 

you want some sort of potentially external validation to prove to you that your work has done really well. It’s really hard to just trust that it’s good unless you’ve got people directly telling us exactly what they got out of it. Or it could also be coming from a place of comparison, how do I get clear to myself how my work is better than their work? How do I prove that I am the best. And I feel like needing to prove yourself in the line of work that we do in this kind of way in which we run our businesses, that requires a lot of trust in order to believe in our work before we can then put it out into the world, trying to be the best and trying to get that external validation is not as helpful as our brains would have us believe. The other thing that I want to add here and why I think it’s really hard for us to just trust that our work was the greatest gift is that we see all of the crap behind the scenes. I’m recording this having just hosted a summit. And that summit was the biggest event I have ever run. So many of the speakers and so many of the attendees were sent and I’m so grateful for this because you know, although the external validation isn’t everything, it’s still very helpful and nice. I’m so grateful for that. They’ve sent me messages saying it all looks so seamless. It’s also well organised right and behind the scenes. What you don’t see is me losing my shirt. having massive wobbles about whether I’m going to be able to pull it off or not having massive wobbles about whether the speakers are going to get enough value out of it, whether the attendees are going to like it, whether we’re going to get enough people signed up that made it worth the hours and hours and hours and hours of work that I put into it, and money. And doing stuff for the last minute, you don’t see all of that stuff. What you saw is something that looks seamless. And to me, because I know, because I’m the one who sees it, I knew that I did not have all my shit together. And we are the ones who see all of that shit behind the scenes, which I mean, does that take away from the fact that my work is a gift. If I if it didn’t look seamless, if I did make more mistakes with it, would that take away from the fact that that summit was a gift, I just want to bring this up, because I do think it’s really hard for us to accept with nothing, no other information, just our own knowing of the work that we do, that our work is a gift and we get to act from a place of knowing it is a gift. And when I say by the way, that my work is a gift, I mean, because I should have explained this at the start, right. But what I mean by this is that our clients are lucky to get to work with us. The world is a better place for us fully expressing ourselves in the way that we do through our work. Our clients are happy to pay us for this work. Sometimes they get results immediately, and they can see it pay off immediately. And sometimes it’s so much more of a slow burn, and an ongoing life thing. And I know this to be true because I have worked with coaches, mentors, I’ve worked in courses, whatever, whatever, any things that I’ve signed up for any people I’ve worked with, sometimes I got the results really quickly. And sometimes I’m still drawing on stuff years later, that I learned from them at the time. So yeah, what I mean by what if my work was a gift, I mean a gift to your clients, they are lucky to work with you a gift to the world, because the world is a better place when more of us are fully self expressed and working in our zone of magic and a gift to yourself. If you can just remove the doubts. Easy, right? You can just remove the doubts, take away all the crap. And trust that this is the work you’re here to do. So that’s what I mean by your work being gift.

 

What gets to change when we start to see our work as a gift. And this was really coming through for me during that breathwork session. And I have to say it was more of a knowing and a feeling rather than like a concrete set of action steps. But I am going to distil it into the more practical for you now. The first thing that really comes to mind for me if I saw if I really trusted that I and my work were the greatest gift. How would I show up? How would I take up space especially when I’m selling. So there’s this visual visualisation that I do. I’ve done it a couple of times. And most recently, I’ve now put it into a freebie bundle. So if you want to get this visualisation, you can go to Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash free forward slash selling. I’ll put that link in the show notes. But it’s Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash free forward slash selling. This visualisation basically is to help you tune into what it feels like when you find something that is genuinely supportive in some way. It could be a product that you’ve been looking for for ages, you never quite found the right one, like the perfect pair of jeans I think is the example I use in a visualisation. And then suddenly you find the perfect one. It makes your bum look amazing. It’s they feel so comfortable. You know, they feel great around your stomach. They fit perfectly they make you feel confident. How does it feel trying those jeans on compared to trying the jeans on they’re just a bit too tight. Just a bit too short, just a bit too long, just a bit too scratchy. Right. And I think knowing that you and your work are a gift means tuning into that feeling that other people get when they come across you, your work your offers and what you do. You are that perfect pair of jeans for some people. And when they find you. It could I mean it really depends on what your business is. It could feel like relief, and their body could feel like finally being seen finally being understood. It could look like excitement like take my money. I’m recording this on the day that Taylor Swift has just released her new album. I’ve been on Tik Tok and some of her fans seriously just like take my money Take my money. She just added an extended version Have the album straightaway and then like, I’ve got to buy a new one straightaway now, take my money, right. That’s the energy I mean. So I just, I think that we would take up, we would see taking up space very differently. If we trusted that our work was a gift, we would also potentially change the way we price our stuff. And I’m saying this as someone who has been going through my own, I can’t think of the word but I’ve been feeling conflicted about my own prices lately. A couple of episodes ago, I did just record about the reasons why I’m moving to US dollars, and I’m changing some of my prices, that has helped me so much. So part of that was just in me, me getting in alignment. But the bigger part of it, especially the way I oppress my one to one work, because I’ve had a number in my heart for quite a while now. And I have not been able to energetically get behind him. I do have an episode separately about pricing, by the way. And people say that’s very helpful when they’re thinking about changing their prices. But yeah, for me, what I’ve learned from this time is that, you know, this one is a bit trickier. And I think what it comes down to me not fully trusting in my own work as the gift. And you know, this week, and especially in this breathwork session, it felt very clear to me that my work is a gift. This podcast episode you’re listening to is a gift to you. If it resonates with you, doesn’t mean that everything I do is going to be the gift for you. But it is all a gift to someone. So the way we price changes. It’s not it’s not what we think we can get away with. It’s not what we think, oh my god, what can I stretch to having my people pay? It’s what is the aligned price for me? And how can I trust in that value.

 

Trusting that our work and business is a gift is also going to change the way we create our offers. And this is something that’s really on my mind at the moment, because my programme, the aligned offers experience is open again. This was a programme that I first ran two years ago now. And it is one of my favourites. And I think one of my best. But I wanted to reserve it for my like one to one and group clients. Like it felt like, you know, this is this is good stuff. And I want it to be just for them. But I had the nudge recently to bring out of retirement. So it’s open. Now if you’re listening to this now, like around the time it comes out, it’s open until the 31st of October, you can find out more at Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash offers. But yeah, so because I’m opening this programme again. And about to run it live in November, it’s been really on my mind. And I was reflecting on why did I create this offer in the first place. And going back, I think it was three years now, I created an offer that felt very different for me. So I had already been running this business for a little while I’ve been working with clients, one to one I had been selling courses. And I created a group programme that for me was different to any group programme I had been in, it was kind of a combination of trainings and accountability and group coaching. And there was something about it. I had had the nudge for a long time, and I had not listened to that nudge for a long time. And I think the reason why is because I did not trust myself to do it justice. So if you saw your work as the greatest gift, what is there in your heart, what kind of offer is in your heart, what kind of programme container product is in your heart that you might just trust yourself to do justice with. And let me tell you, when I created that offer when I opened my heart to it, and it felt very exposing, it felt really risky. And I remember what it felt like to sell it. It was very nerve wracking to sell it. But because it had really come from my heart every time I felt like wobbly, when it was selling and like what if I was able to tune back into that every single time and I held my nerve. And I had the most beautiful group, it was only four people which you know, may seem very small. And that offer changed the course of this business. Forget that offer change everything in this business. In and of itself. It was the income from it really changed things and the pricing, which by the way, was so much less than I charge now. So it’s not like I haven’t continued to change. But more than that it showed me that I get to be brave, that I get to create offers and programmes in a way that totally aligns to who I am. I get to start with myself and my inner knowing first and then I get to translate that into what my people are looking for. And I think so many of us create things the absolute other way around. It’s not wrong, by the way to do market research and to figure out what people want, people have to want our thing. Right, in order to sign up for it in order for us to sell it. It’s not wrong to think that way. But as a sensitive person, and as someone who you know, has a very strong intuition, when I allow myself to tune into it, it was game changing for me to create the offer the other way around.

 

And that takes you believing that your work is a gift, and that you are a gift. So yeah, like I said, I’m doing a live round of the aligned offers experience, if you want to come join us, this is not necessarily for beginners. It’s not about like how to create your first offer offer ever. It’s deeper than that. It’s so much deeper than that. And it’s way more philosophical, and it’s all about being aligned. So yes, you are welcome to join if you’re a beginner, but it’s not a beginner programme. It’s for all business owners who crave a deeper level of alignment and truth and trusting in themselves as a gift. So it’s open now at the time of recording this, Ruth poundwhite.com, forward slash offers. So these are a few things that I feel like we get to do differently, when we see ourselves as a gift, or something else actually, that comes up is the boundaries around how we actually deliver things. So it’s one thing creating an offer that’s totally aligned, and it comes from the heart. It’s another thing delivering it in the way that actually works best for us. And when I talk about things that work best for us, I do believe ultimately, if we’re really true, if we really, really, what’s the word, honest with ourselves, if we’re willing to do the work, if we’re willing to figure out where certain boundaries are coming from, if they’re coming from a good place, or if there’s something to, you know, look at more deeply or clear out, then I do believe that our choices and our boundaries that are best for us are also best for our people, because it helps us to serve them from the best energy. And when you trust in the value, the real value of yourself and your work, you no longer have to worry about pleasing everyone. I get that this is harder, when you don’t have enough clients yet or enough money coming in, I get that it’s harder. But what I’m trying to say here is that the people who see you and the people who see what a gift your work is, or your right people, and they want to work with you. And they will listen to what your terms are. And they will be happy to work with those terms. I hope you hear what I’m saying. And then finally, if we can really trust in this value of our work and how much of a gift it is, we are much more free to break the rules and to innovate. Can you see that like, if I come from this grounded, trusting place in the value of my work, then I’m less afraid to do something different and potentially make a fool of myself, I’m less afraid to experiment with a whole new way of running a programme. I’m less afraid to try something in case it’s the thing that works for me. And I’m okay if it’s not, you know, because I trust that I learned from it, my work is a gift. So no matter what happens, no matter how many people end up signing up, I have that knowing that grounding in that knowing to help me support me to do that. I actually have a free workshop about that right now, again, this is available until the 31st of October. If you go to Ruth poundwhite.com, forward slash workshop, it’s about the rules, the three rules to break to create aligned offers that are fun and easier to sell. And that really talks about some of the rules and how that gets in the way of the innovation in a lot more detail. So can you see just this, this, this shift in perspective can change everything in our businesses. And in fact, something that I didn’t write down in my notes, but it’s so true is that it also helps us to trust that we deserve to have more than enough in terms of money, monetary, monetary compensation for the work that we do, right? I work as a gift, and we deserve to be rewarded for as well. But how do we actually believe all of this because it’s all one thing saying if we believe it, then this will happen, right?

 

Unfortunately, I cannot cover this in this podcast episode because this is the question. This is the lifetime of work. This is what it means to become fully self expressed in your business in your life in all areas. It’s not going to happen overnight. There are so many layers to it. I mean, it’s all the work that I do. It’s everything I talk about on my podcast. It’s everything I talk about in my book. It’s all the work that I do with my one to one clients. It’s the self belief work. It’s the unravelling the conscious and the subconscious stories and the meanings that we’ve made in life and asking ourselves what gets to be different what Did I make this mean, that actually could mean something else. I mean, there is a concrete exercise, I do have a programme, the magic of you, which is really about tuning into the value that you yourself. Like, it’s all about being the right person for your right people, the idea being that there could be so many other people out there doing what it is that you do, but you are the only one who can do it in your way. And you’re the only one who can do it for your right people, right. And one of the exercises in that it’s massively simplified the way I’m about to describe it, but is to go through your whole life, all of your amazing and terrible life experiences, all the different perspectives, you’ve collected all of the different things that you’ve struggled with the different things you’ve achieved, the different things that you fail that to go through all of that stuff. And to make a list of why all of those things are why you are the right person for your right people. So even the tricky even the hardest things, even the things that you don’t want to look at in yourself, even the things you think are your biggest flaws. Why does that make you the right person for your right people. So that is one exercise that you can take away. And just really asking yourself, whenever you have something to sell, like allowing yourself to go big, to get audacious to ask yourself, How does this offer change people’s lives? How does that change people’s lives in their vicinity? How does that change the world. And this stuff can feel really uncomfortable. But this is the start of a practice that will strip those layers of crap that are in the way and help you to start believing actually how much of a gift your work really is. It’s all just scratching the surface. But that’s how it’s got to start, right. And obviously, if you want to work together more deeply on this stuff, like I said, I’m doing a live round of the aligned offers programme. So we can really dig into this in terms of the offers the way you show up to sell them the way you show up to deliver them what you deliver how you talk about them. In the aligned offers experience, which you can read more about at Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash offers, where you can work with me look more deeply, we can go into some of the sub subconscious clearing of the meanings, we can really get to know what’s going on under the surface and change the narrative at Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash work hyphen with hyphen MI, you just go on my website and click on work with me. And you’ll find all the information there. I’ll put all of these links in the show notes. But yeah, I know that we’re just scratching the surface with this. I wish I could tie it up in a neat little bow. I can’t I mean, this is lifetime work, right? I personally feel like Yeah, it’s hard. Yes, it can be messy. But oh my goodness, what a privilege. It is that I get to do this work in my business that my business brings it all to the surface. It’s not just about business, obviously, it’s about my whole life. But my business forces me to the way I sell the way I show up the offers I create, force me to do this really deep, important work. So I’m so grateful for it. And that in itself is another reason why my work is such a gift. So yeah, if you want to work together more deeply, I have space when you want one client so just go to that work with me page or have a look at Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash offers. Were open until the 31st of October, I don’t know when this programmes will open, you’re going to be run again. Like I said, it’s normally just for my high level clients like one to one and group clients. I would love to work with you in this programme. It can change everything for your business, it has changed everything for me. So yeah, thanks for being here. And if you take one thing away, I hope it i hope that you got a feeling in your body when I talked about this question of what if your work was a gift? Even if you don’t believe it all the time? I don’t believe it all the time. What if you can take that moment when you do believe it and what would you do differently? So get out your journal, go write something, go do something after listening to this. And yeah, keep trusting. keep practising trusting that your work is the greatest gift because it absolutely is.

 

Thank you so much for listening to another episode of quietly ambitious. If you have a moment to rate and review know that it really does make a difference. And if you’d like to carry on the conversation, then you can connect with me on Instagram at Ruth Poundwhite Join me in the Facebook group or my personal favourite. Sign up to my newsletter letters to quietly ambitious humans. Just go to Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash newsletter to subscribe and keep doing what you’re doing because your work really does matter.