Episode #125: On Letting Go & Honouring Endings

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As I head into a period of lots of reflection, and also letting go a big part of my business, in this episode, I’m going to be sharing with you the lessons and some prompts to help you really honour where you are at at this time of the year. And you might just be surprised at what comes up for you.

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You’re listening to quietly ambitious with conversations about how it really feels to build a business that honours your whole self unapologetically. And that includes who you are, how you feel, what you really desire, the impact that you want to create, and importantly, the money you want to make. I’m your host, Ruth Poundwhite. And my superpower is supporting sensitive and ambitious humans to make more money by fully expressing and owning all of who they are. Let’s dive in. Hi, and welcome to the last podcast episode of the year. Oh, my goodness.

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And I’m just going to warn you, I think today’s episode is gonna get a bit philosophical. Now, obviously, the end of the year is an incredible time to reflect. And I hope that it gives you some encouragement to pause to do your own reflection and gives you some helpful, insightful, powerful questions to work with as well. And personally, for me, it’s not just a case of reflecting because we’re at a natural end of a cycle of a year. It’s also a time where I have just or I’m about to let something massive go from my business. And it’s bittersweet, because I know it is the right choice, the most aligned choice for my business. But that doesn’t mean that it has been an easy decision. And it doesn’t mean that there isn’t still grief and sadness about letting it go. So in today’s episode, I just wanted to speak about both of these kinds of endings and honouring these kinds of endings. So I’m going to start with the end of the year. And

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I know that it’s arbitrary, right. And I know that a lot of people like I was talking about in the last episode, some people can find it difficult with all the talk around New Year, and reflecting and planning and all of this stuff. Yes, it’s arbitrary, that it’s the end of the year, we could do this, and probably should do this at multiple times, whatever feels right for us. But

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just reminding ourselves that it is helpful to be given a reason to pause, a reason to slow down, we are part of nature, and nature is cyclical. And in the northern hemisphere, where I am recording this, we’re entering winter, which is a period of pause in nature, the fertile void when it seems like not much is going on, but stuff is happening under the surface right, getting ready for the spring in the new year. And it really is a good time to reflect if it feels right for you. And I think that I mean, this is one of the reasons why I, I feel so much more grounded when I’m following the lunar cycle, for example, just having that natural reminder, every four weeks, or every two weeks to go inwards, or to think about what I want to release or whatever it is the idea on the moon ritual. It’s just really grounding, to have that natural reminder to pause because especially in the world that we are in of business and personal development, we are so focused on what is next we are constantly focused on what is next. And often actually, we are very focused on what we haven’t achieved. And I think it’s so important to pause and to give ourselves time to appreciate what we have now to appreciate that we have now what we so desperately wanted in the past as well, like past us would be amazed at what we have now. But how often do we give ourselves time to actually appreciate that fact. And never have I felt this so clearly than at the end of last year. I deliberately took I deliberately stretched out actually I didn’t like didn’t give myself any like one day to sit down and do this and I didn’t do it for loads of time at once. But I stretched out over the period of a couple of weeks reflecting on the year that had just been and when I started the reflection process for 2021. I started out thinking that

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was a hard year. And I am glad that year is over. And by the time I finished reflecting, I had totally changed my perspective of my experience of 2021. And what I did to really help me was I really slowly and quite thoroughly. So it did take a long time went through all of my photos on my phone from 2021 From the whole year. And like I said, it completely changed my perspective of the year, which shows me that I wasn’t seeing the full picture until I gave myself time to actually see it. And also in the process of doing that, you know, and doing it over the period of a couple of weeks, it gave me time to process the difficult stuff as well. It gave me time to really just sit with all of the things the good, the bad, the ugly of the year, and process it, see it, witness it, feel it. And it helped me to be more intentional about the energy that I was carrying into 2022 going forward.

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Which I also think by the way, giving ourselves too time to process in this way is really important to make space for possibility. And I mean, the reason why this is on my mind is because I’m about to run a free workshop about this on the 14th of December. So if you’re listening to this at the time, it’s going out, if you go to Ruth poundwhite.com, forward slash possibility, please do sign up and join us even if you can’t make it on that day, there will be a limited replay. And this is this is a really updated workshop. But I did run a version of it last year and everyone like people loved it. Honestly, it was amazing. So go to Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash possibility to sign up for that. So yeah, the the idea of possibility is really on my mind right now. But the reason I think that this makes space for possibility is because

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our minds are so limited. And I spoke about this again, a little bit in the last episode, our minds are so limited, and our minds will jump to conclusions very quickly. And often they’ll do this quickly because it’s an inbuilt safety mechanism. And maybe in certain situations, it’s very helpful to be able to jump to conclusions, right. But the thing is, if we give ourselves time to process, and we give ourselves time to really see the truth, we’re clearing away the negative assumptions, we’re giving ourselves time to sit with those and clear them away. And we’re also showing our minds that actually, not everything is exactly the way we think it is. And we remind ourselves that there’s so much more to reality than our thoughts and our thoughts are not reality, right? I saw this. So clearly, when I did this reflection process at the end of 2021. It was incredible how much it changed my view of the year that had just been. So making time for reflection, doing it not just at this time of year, but in regular intervals, is really powerful for making space for possibility as well. And something that I do with my clients. It’s it’s a it’s a bonus that I offer usually for like pay in full or Yeah, a different time. So it’s currently a bonus I offer if you sign up to work with me one to one and pay in full. Which by the way, my one to one prices are about to go up on the first of January.

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So go and have a look on my website, if you’re curious about this. But I do a future rehearsing visualisation. It’s a process that we go through. And then at the end of it, I record a personalised visualisation for them to listen to again and again and again, right. I do this for myself as well, by the way, it’s so powerful like I can’t tell you how powerful this process is. Firstly, the process itself helps you to really get clear on what it is that you want to call in. And to play with some of that possibility and then the visualisation really powerful and bringing you back to who it is that you need to be to make this happen. Anyway, I digress. So what’s been really interesting is, so many of my clients who have done this visualisation process with me have ended up messaging me and saying, Oh, I randomly listened to this visualisation again after ages of not listening to it, and I couldn’t believe it. Like basically everything has come true.

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And

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this just, it really highlights to me how much we grow and change and absolutely fail to recognise it. How much we grow and change but are so quick to move on to the next thing that we don’t pause and acknowledge and feel grateful and celebrate Celebrate the fact that we have our past self wanted. Like, I cannot tell you how often this happens with the future. visualisations. It’s incredible. And yeah, the best remind

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To, to pause and to reflect. So at this time of year, I’ve already been doing a little bit of reflecting because it felt right for me. And I do think it’s important to give yourself time, like, if you’re not in the space of reflecting, you don’t have to do it right away, you’ve got time. But I wanted to give you some questions to ask yourself that might help you in this process. And by the way, I’m planning to send out all of these questions in an email newsletter. So if you’re listening to this at the time it goes out, if you’re listening to this month later, then then just pay more attention and make notes while I read them out. But if you’re listening to this in December 2022, go to Ruth poundwhite.com, forward slash newsletter to sign up to the newsletter. So you can get a written copy of all these questions.

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And by the way, something that I find really helpful when reflecting on the year is sometimes to list out all of the months of the year. And then choose the questions that may speak to me and fill in the blanks for each of the months, it can really help. Because if we think of the year as a whole, it can be very easy to miss things very, very easy to miss things. And that is a reflection process that I did recently listed are all of the months of the year and wrote down notes for each month. Not reams and reams. But it was really, really helpful. And so many seemingly small things that I’d forgotten about that are actually quite important. Anyway, the questions,

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some questions to ask yourself, What have I learned this year? What am I proud of? What surprised me this year?

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In what ways have I changed this year?

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What challenged me this year?

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What didn’t work for me this year? And what did?

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What do I want to bring forward to 2023?

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And what do I want to release? And let go of in 2023?

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And how do I get to honour and process what I’m releasing and letting go off?

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And of course you might have your own questions. That’s absolutely fine. But the key is to really go a bit deeper than surface level, it’d be really easy to stop and think, oh, that’s what I did this year. And that’s it. But when you ask yourself these questions, you will be surprised at what comes up.

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And that last question of what do I want to release and let go of and how can I honour that really, like really ties to the second part of this episode, which is all about deliberate endings, and consciously letting things go.

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Because

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it’s one thing to like pause and reflect and you know, to check in, and then natural kind of cycles of the year. It’s another thing to know that it’s time to release something, it’s another thing to know that it’s time to like close a chapter to let something go. And when I a couple of years ago, if you don’t know the backstory, and I do have, I do have a whole podcast episode about this about, I forget what number it is, but I’ll put it in the show notes. I’ll put a link to it in the show notes. I have a whole podcast episode about the process of

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essentially quitting my first business, my copywriting business. And it was in 2020 When I finally closed that business down. And at the time, I was so focused on why I didn’t want to do it anymore. I was so focused on the negative aspects of it in terms of my kind of personal fulfilment and what the work I enjoyed doing, that I was really taken aback when I closed it down. And actually there was a lot of grief and sadness

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and guilt.

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And it was really important that I honoured everything I had created. And it took me aback because I was so focused on why I wanted to let it go. And that was such a valuable lesson for me. Knowing that even when you are desperate to let something go even when you know it’s completely right to let it go, that there can still be grief and sadness when you do and

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I’m reminded of this at the moment because as I record this episode, I have just over a week left of running my group programme rest and rise. This programme I have been running it for a year and a half now I think

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it has been one of the most incredible things I have done for my business for my

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skills and experience as a coach and for the connection that I have with my people. This programme has been incredible. Why am I closing it down now?

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The truth is over the last few months What became clear to me is that who I am now is

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very different to who I was when I started this programme. And I love working with the clients in this programme, but I am no longer aligned to selling what it is that I’m selling with this programme, selling the promise of the programme, right? It’s not aligned anymore. I also realised, by the way, and this was actually quite a profound realisation that I had never

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fully leaned into selling the programme from a place of

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the benefit of this programme is that you get to work with me.

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Now, all the bells and whistles, but like the benefit of this programme is that you get to work with me,

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I have never sold it from that place. And I realised that that is why it was no longer aligned. And in many ways, this really does feel like the end of the chapter like not just with this programme, but I have been doing such deep work this year. And if you’re in the, if you’re in my private client, only Facebook group that inside, you will, you will have access to a behind the scenes recording I did a few weeks ago, where I talk about all the ins and outs of the deep work and get pretty vulnerable about that.

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And if you want in, by the way, anyone who has bought anything from me can join. And if you haven’t bought anything from me, you just go on my website, Ruth poundwhite.com, forward slash everything, and there’s a $10 pack of affirmations and you’ll get an invite that way. Anyway, I digress. Yeah, in many ways, it feels like the end of a chapter because of all of this work I’ve been doing on myself. I feel like I’m ready to fully trust the impact that I get to create and to really create and sell offers from a place of you get to do this work with me. And isn’t that incredible. And you know, I talk a lot about aligned offers. And I have a whole programme called aligned offers. And I’m not a stranger to creating offers from an aligned place, and based on how I feel. But I think the thing is that how I feel has changed how I feel about myself has changed. I’ve removed more layers of crap that were getting in the way of my true self. And obviously, this is my life’s work. And it’s an ongoing, never ending process. But yeah,

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I am ready to trust, the impact and to sell my offers from a place of deeper trust in that. So it’s natural that my offers will shift. And it’s natural that my prices will shift, like I said, or did I say my one to one prices are going up on the first of January.

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I would love to work with you. By the way, if this is all speaking to you, so you can find all the info on my website.

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So it’s natural that things will shift. But this ending felt kind of a lot more complicated than closing my copywriting business because this is something you know, this is work I love doing. In many ways, I feel like I have totally hit my stride. With the way I run this programme, like running restaurants is so easy in so many ways. And that is not a bad thing. That is a sign that I am doing aligned work and that I have.

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I’ve learned from ways in which I’ve delivered it. And I’ve I’ve crafted it and curated it in a way that really suits my energy and the way that I like to work. So in many ways, it feels like the easiest thing ever.

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And I can’t, you know, I can’t not say how much I love my clients in there, like they are amazing. It is so sad to tell them, we cannot work together in this way anymore. Although I definitely trust

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that I will be working with some of them in the future, in the right way as well.

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So yeah, it was hard to let go of all of this

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in the name of the bigger vision, which is

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the programme that I am aligned to now. And the thing is, I actually don’t know what that programme is yet. And I’m trusting that it’s going to come through when it’s meant to come through. But yeah, because of this I was really conflicted about letting this programme go for a long time really conflicted about it. But when I announced it to the people who were in there, I instantly knew it was right. You know, sometimes you just have to take action, and then you get the feeling in your body and you know, right and that’s what happened. So, yeah, I don’t know what’s next. And I’m really,

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in this space of the in between. It’s really common and normal for doubts to kick in. Like my brain will want me to rush into the next thing to stay safe in terms of money. And in terms of practising what I do in a group setting, but I don’t know what’s next and I’m really trying to honour this process. And in letting go of this programme,

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I’m trying to honour what I’ve created here as well. I’ve really learned that lesson from my copywriting business. I am celebrating every single one of my clients as they finish. I really big thing I’m doing actually as I’m reading there

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words, because when they’re because they’re all finishing around now, and they’re sharing posts in the group, and, you know, they’re sharing the impact that the programme has had on them. And I’m really trying to be present with that. Because it’s quite natural sometimes to avoid. It’s natural to avoid really taking these words. And when people say stuff about the difference we are making in their lives.

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And I think that’s a safety, a safety.

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What’s the word?

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Protection thing? Because if we really take it in, we might become complacent, or maybe they’re wrong. Maybe other clients won’t agree, right? And what if I let people down in the future, but I think it’s so important to sit there and be present with it and take it in.

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Like, my clients are

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intelligent people.

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And I’m going to trust what they’re saying about their experience. Right? So I don’t know if this speaks to you. But I feel like it’s really important to say, sit with the good stuff that people say about your work. And yes, there are always ways to improve. And yes,

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we want constructive criticism, ways to improve. And sometimes that’s very hard to sit with, as well, but

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sit with and be present with the amazing stuff that people are saying as well. And also just allowing myself to feel the feelings like it feels really sad, actually. It feels bittersweet. It feels sad and happy, like both things are true. But it can it does feel sad reading the messages of people as they’re finishing. And I’m feeling the feelings of that. It’s really coming out right now as I’m talking about it.

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It isn’t it like amazing the work that we do, and how do we get to know people and go with people. And all of my clients have made me a better business owner and a better coach as well. Anyway,

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feeling the feelings and also like, eventually, I will debrief the whole thing. Now, I have been debriefing as I go in terms of launching and stuff, but I will debrief the whole experience of running it and learning from it. And I do this with all major projects, I just did it with the summit, just recorded a debrief of that which you can get if you’re interested, I debrief launches that I do so that I can learn and improve next time and support myself better next time. And I’ve got a whole process for it, which I share in my course journaling for launches. But I’m also not going to debrief it while I’m still in the in the feelings, I got to give myself time, if I jumped straight to the debrief and the strategy, strategic logical stuff, I would skip a really important part of this process of letting go.

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And I think that that is true for the end of the year as well. So you got to give yourself time to process you’ve got to give yourself time to feel the feelings. And actually I feel like looking through my photos was that because it wasn’t logical. It wasn’t me making lists of stuff and planning or anything, it was just feeling it, experiencing it what I needed.

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And this is why by the way, I booked out a date in January so that I know I have a day or more than a day set aside to do the logical strategic stuff to reflect and plan. But for now, I think it’s really important to honour where you have feelings and to give yourself space to feel them. And just know that so much can change when you actually do that. So that’s where I’m at right now. And like I said, it’s really bittersweet. Everything like this year has been a lot I would say for me personally, in the work that I’ve been doing and the learnings I’ve been having about myself but like I said it feels like a new chapter has already started in the in in the way I’m willing to show up as a business owner and trusting my value as a business owner and human.

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And yet so bittersweet finishing my group programme, but I’m really excited about what’s next. And what’s next immediately is the play with possibility workshop which again go to Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash possibility to sign up for that and actually

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when I run that workshop, I’m going to announce something exciting that is coming in January. It’s not the next big group programme but it is the next most aligned thing on my heart I’m actually I haven’t worked with people in this way for a while. So I’m very excited to announce that but I will tell you more after I’ve run the workshop and I hope that you will be there and whatever happens I my biggest wish for you is that you can give yourself by give yourself space, give yourself the gift of perspective. And you will see just how far you have come this year even if it doesn’t necessarily feel like it right now. So thank you for being here with me and listening to this and being here with the podcast supporting the book which came out this year as well. And I will catch you again with another episode in January. Have a wonderful end of your year. Whatever you are doing and however you are set up

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Writing.

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Thank you so much for listening to another episode of quietly ambitious. If you have a moment to rate and review know that it really does make a difference. And if you’d like to carry on the conversation, then you can connect with me on Instagram at Ruth Poundwhite Join me in the Facebook group or my personal favourite, sign up to my newsletter letters to quietly ambitious humans. Just go to Ruth poundwhite.com forward slash newsletter to subscribe and keep doing what you’re doing because your work really does matter.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai